Thoughts on re-entry
As September crept over the horizon, I noticed my work becoming busier and busier. At first, looking at my September calendar felt exciting, exhilarating even! “We’re growing,” I thought, “Cultures are changing, and there is renewed interest in the applications of coaching.” I felt overjoyed to imagine the opportunity to talk about some of the challenging issues we could shift by becoming more curious. The other reality of a full calendar is that doing the work is exhilarating and, at times, exhausting. Travelling through Canada in the fall is stunningly beautiful and can take time.
Binary thinking
Binary thinking, the process by which we reduce complex subjects or events to simple black-and-white “truths,” evolved to support our ability to navigate complex environments and make life-and-death decisions. Most of the time, though, we aren’t making life-and-death decisions and don’t need to simplify issues down to black and white.
I noticed that my binary thinking led to wanting to make black-and-white, yes-no decisions. If my calendar feels exhausting, should I clear it? If travel feels time-consuming, should I stay home? Neither solution closely resembles what I want or what is best for me. And, as I often do, I ended up with, “I should create a new system to manage my calendar and commitments.”
In coaching, many clients talk about similar struggles with making decisions about allocating time. Many people feel either too busy or not busy enough to stay engaged with what is asked of them. I often notice common ways of thinking that can trap us in patterns of behaviour that no longer serve us.
Fresh Starts
The writer Oliver Burkeman once wrote that “fresh start-ism” is a form of perfectionism. We imagine that creating a new way of working will create the kind of perfect system that allows us to be perfectly in control of our time and contribution in an effortless, non-messy way. Anyone who knows me well knows that I have tried all sorts of apps and programs that are supposed to keep me organized. After every exploration down the avenue of a new system, inevitably, chaos creeps in again, and the things I have to do start exceeding the available time again.
As I scan my calendar for the fall, I can see my commitment to connection, inclusion, learning and contribution - all values dear to my heart. I can see how the things I prioritize in my work: supporting others through change, creating opportunities for expanded and collective thinking, contributing to the emergence of healthier team environments, and investing in my own skill development, directly contribute to having a career I love.
New Thinking
What needs to change is not the work I do but how I think about the work I do. I accept that I will continue to have times of busyness as long as I keep doing meaningful work. For me, the key to improvement is to pay more attention to my own needs. There are definitely opportunities to improve how I make decisions about the commitments I take on, and I will work on those changes. I notice values that I want to make more room for, like family and time. I am also grateful to see that my work so closely aligns with what matters most to me, and I can feel the qualitative difference that makes to my daily life.
The answer to busyness is not in a perfect system or a fresh start; it is in honouring the inherent messiness of life and paying attention to what really matters to us. When time, work and values are more closely aligned, we are more likely to experience the joy of being in the flow of life.
As usual, if this resonates with you, here are some questions you might ask yourself:
Where have you started using binary thinking to simplify complexity?
What values do you notice when you look at your commitments?
What is the relationship between the values you find and how you feel about work or yourself?
What do you need to accept about yourself and your work?
Which small changes might improve your ability to navigate your work and life with more ease? (You can add any important sense here - maybe for you, it is joy, excitement, peace, calm, groundedness…)
I would love to hear about the changes you make as you navigate the autumn.
